There's Enough to Go Around

Personal responsibility is one of my favorite subjects, but I get a little frustrated when 'my generation' is chastised for our lack thereof.

I'm going to take my two roommates and myself for an example.

Me:

• Senior, Electrical Engineering. High Honors
  
• Job 1: Research Assistant
• Job 2: Grading papers
  
• Extracurriculars: CFO of the business office for a national corporation, Emeritus President and Conference Programming Chair for an honor society, active member of another honor society, volunteer for new student programs
• Other time consuming things: Independent research project, senior design project

Roommate #1

• Junior, Civil Engineering
  
• Job: Front desk worker, local fitness center
• Extracurriculars: Director of business office for national corporation, Newsletter and Housing Chair for regional conference, professional society
  
• Other time consuming things: Volleyball on a weekly basis, boyfriend

Roommate #2

• Senior, Mechanical Engineering. Honors
• Job: TA for sophomore lab
• Extracurriculars: President of honor society, member of another
• Other time consuming things: getting surgeries

I could go on with my immediate circle of friends, but you get the idea. (And please bear with me; I'm not trying to brag.)

Hearing about college students who get to kick back and have mommy and daddy buy everything irritates no one more than those of us working jobs, going to school, and attempting extracurriculars that don't involve a beer bong. Splurging for us is splitting an Applebee's half priced appetizer or chipping in gas money (with our parents) to go home.

This entry is directed at those students who are cruising by on someone else's goodwill: You're pissing off those of us who work. You don't have to stop partying. You don't have to get a job. (Lord knows that there's enough McDonald's employees in the world.) Just keep your head down and please, don't complain about a five page reading assignment 'totally wrecking your plans to go drink tonight'. The maliciousness that you inspire in the professor gets spit out on the rest of us.

And to that prof: Don't give up. There ARE responsible young adults in the world. We're just too busy working to whine to you about the length of the homework.

Why cliches are wrong

Overheard in Psychology today:
"The only time you really fail is when you fail to try."

NOTE: No, I did not say/do anything to Mr. Idiot's face. Sorry, Mom.

Let's address the central premise of the above statement. First and foremost, it follows the popular idea that you can do anything if you try hard enough. In other words, nobody is a failure.

I'm sorry to disillusion my fellow precious snowflakes, but you can and will fail.

I refuse to say that failing is rewarding and the best thing that will ever happen to you, because it's not true.

Here's rule 1: Failing sucks.

It's not fun and nobody likes it. As a general rule, people don't set out to fail. Our culture is infused with the idea of the winner. Think about all the heartwarming stories about the kid with cancer who hits a home run in the bottom of the ninth or sinks the winning basket. Oprah talks to the learning disabled kid who goes to Harvard, not the one at the McDonalds fryer. We like thinking about winners. Even when we talk about people losing, it's generally along the lines of Babe Ruth striking out, where losing is a temporary step along the road to success. It's not always like that. Sometimes, you fail and it's the end. Flunk a class, and there will be no triumphant return to a 4.0 GPA. Sometimes, failure is permanent. We don't like thinking about it, but it's true. Failing sucks.

Rule number 2: Failing is inevitable.

Sometimes your best isn't good enough. No matter how hard you work, you won't be a nuclear physicist, an Olympic ice skater, or date the prom queen. Try all you want, but sometimes what you want is not going to happen. And yes, that sucks too.

Rule number 3: You cannot change Rules 1 and 2. Neither can anyone else.

Your mom can't make it better. It's not your professor's fault. There is a finite limit to your abilities in certain areas. Sometimes these limits are imposed by genetics or environment. Other times we impose limits on ourselves, simply by letting opportunities pass us by. (Didn't start practicing until you were thirty? Being a child prodigy pianist won't happen.)

In any event, trying hard enough doesn't make something happen. Failing can and will happen, no matter how hard you work.

Get used to it.