Friday, January 25, 2008

Benadryl and the effects thereof

My allergies and I have an understanding. Namely, I will do my best not to irritate them, and they will periodically revolt and kick my ass. Such a mutiny occurred yesterday.

See, my roommate has a cat.

The cat in and of itself is a fine animal. It's friendly enough, and mostly spends its time sleeping. However, cats as a whole have one defining characteristic--they cause me to die. According to my allergies, me being near to a cat is equivalent to my screaming racial ephithets to the tune of 'Your mother enjoyed the company of Hilter in exchange for minimal amounts of filthy lucor.'

In sum, living where I live is asking for it.

Yesterday began with sneezing (no big deal) and progressed to a runny nose (irritating) and watery eyes (#$%!%^$#!!). It puts a rather abrupt end to one's day when you are forced to beat a strategic retreat to my secret stash of generic claritin and benadryl.

Benadryl is a magic drug. It's the equivalent of pot to my sinuses. They get some and then spend the rest of the forseeable future inhaling ('Ahhh...that's the good stuff') and being too lethargic to move.

As a college student, I prize my sleep. Unfortunately, I prize things like staff meetings and homework as well.

Me: I have three hours of work to finish tonight.
Benadryl: Heh. That's cute.
Me: Pleeeaaase...just let me get through the meeting.
Benadryl: ....
Me: Roommate #2, you need to drive.
Benadryl: That's right. Next time you'll think twice before insinuating that someone's mother was Hitler's cheap whore, won't you?
Me: *asleep at 8PM*
Benadryl: C'mon sinuses, let's go get some Cheetos.

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