Survey

Questions about B.J., answered by Amy, and commented on by B.J.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Her: On the TV, Seinfeld, So You Think You Can Dance, or whatever movie off the AFI top 100 list that we're watching. If TV=his computer, then X-Files or Star Trek
Him: That's a good answer.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? 
Her: Caesar
Him: Caesar.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? 
Her: Onions. The man despises onions.
Him: onions (voice of derision) onions

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? 
Her: Gin and Tonic, but he's been known to order the occasional Blue Moon or scotch.
Him: Gin and Tonic

5. Where did he go to high school? 
Her: Patrick Henry High School in Virginia
Him: Patrick Henry High School in Meadowview, VA. Wait, Emery, VA. I forgot. You got it right anyway.

6. What size shoe does he wear? 
Her: Eight? I think?
Him: Eight and a half.  *censored*


7. (There was no question seven, so we are making one up) Where would he like to spend his time when not at home?
Her: A coffee shop, or the comic book store.
Him: At a coffee shop


8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? 
Her: The reuben, easily. The only thing that would beat a reuben is a reuben with bacon.
Him: Reuben. Meh on the bacon. The club sandwich would be a close second.

9. What would he eat every day if he could? 
Her: Cake. 
Him: Hamburger. But cake is good. I was thinking of more substantial foods.

10. What is his favorite cereal? 
Her: Captain Crunch with Crunchberries
Him: Captain Crunch. With Crunchberries to be specific. (There's kinds of cereals, there's Captain Crunch, Crunchberries, Peanut Butter Crunch, Christmas Crunch, and Home Run Crunch. There's also the holy trinity of breakfast cereals: Count Chocula the Father, Frankenberry the Son, and Booberry the Holy Ghost.)

11. What would he never wear? 
Her: Sandals, particularly flip flops. Not even to take out the garbage.
Him: Sandals and a wife beater.

12. What is his favorite sports team? 
Her: The Detroit Redwings
Him: The Detroit Redwings.

13. Who did he vote for? 
Her: Dude, nobody's business.
Him: Don't put that.

14. Who is his best friend? 
Her: Me, of course. If you're asking about people who aren't me, then it's Jeremiah.
Him: It used to be Shane but he disappeared. Now I think of you.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
Her: I'm a horrible backseat driver. I'm getting better, but he still hates it when I comment on his driving.
Him: *Pleads the fifth, noting that this is a trick question and my answer is correct.*

16. What is his heritage? 
Her: Welsh
Him: Welsh, Scots-Irish and Cherokee

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? 
Her: The kind of cake where you call his mom and ask her to bake it instead of me. Or the kind that they have at the grocery store. (I know he loves red velvet, so I would ask for that kind first.)
Him: Carrot cake, devils food cake, pecan pie (That's not a cake!), red velvet cake, coconut cream cake...

18. Did he play sports in High School? 
Her: He played baseball and was way cute in the uniform.
Him: Yes, baseball for two years.

19.What could he spend hours doing? 
Her: Reading, writing, or anything involving a bookstore. Also, the comic book store.
Him: *censored* Read comic books.

20.What is one unique talent that he has?
Her: He puts up with me. Nobody else has managed that to date.
Him: I don't have any talents. I can imitate people pretty well. 

Good things about unemployment

I'm in no danger of becoming an Pollyana, but unemployment does have a few benefits.

1. Sleeping in - After months of waking up daily at 5AM, sleeping until 8 feels decadently lazy.

2. Free time around the holidays - My niece is coming down for Thanksgiving, and since I won't be working, I'll have plenty of uninterrupted time to play with her.

3. Lunch with husband - Beej has been coming home every day for lunch. It's a refreshing break to hear how his day is going and talk while it's still light outside.

4. Reading - I have been using my public library again! I'm back to several hundred pages a week, as opposed to what was becoming a habit of a book every couple months.

5. Easy appointments - Now that I have no other commitments, I don't have to squeeze any appointments in. I can schedule them more or less at my leisure.

Now that all that's said, somebody please hire me!

How to Carve a Pumpkin

Step 1: Assemble tools and move breakables out of the way.

 

Step 2: Disembowel the pumpkin.

Step 3: Make bad jokes about cannibalism

 

Step 4: Collect innards and separate out seeds for flicking at each other.

Step 5: Begin to carve.

Step 6: Light!

Step 7: Make allusions to Count Von Count from Sesame Street and Harry Potter having inappropriate relations.